[personal profile] rhya_of_stars
I'm finding I'm the first to not care about certain things. IE there's someone who Sarah is friens with that I really don'twant to talk to, and who seems a little off to me somehow. I'm a bit more sensitive to energy stuff than nearly any other fronter it looks like, and this person's is just... off somehow. Odd in a way I'm not sure I like too much.

Besides, I don't want to have to explain things to them. It's bad enough I'm going through emotions that I never thought I would need to. It's bad enough that I still feel like a burden to those around me, even though they say I'm not. Isn't it enough that I'm here? I don't want to have to explain that I'm someone familiar, yet someone so different too that it makes the similarities seem small in comparison.

I don't want to have to take chances of things from my past coming up and have to sit and pour out my life to a person who, while they say they want to read things, have a problem or two with the concept of soulbonding. Because you see, that's what our system is mainly comprised of: Soulbonds.

Maybe we were here all along, maybe we weren't, I'm not sure that's the point here. I'm pretty sure there were people here before she knew what the hell she was doing... Pretty sure, but not absolutely certain. Just... You know, being a newcomer, and inquisitive and stuff. There's just so much here.

Is it wrong of me to want to show her what this energy feels like and to tell her to start to break away from this person? I meahn, I know they're her friend, but I can feel them trying to drain us, and I... dear goddess... don't like. They give me stomach jitters. And they feel different from the ones we get from switching. I can't describe the difference, but it's there.

I feel like a horrible person for even thinking like this. But... I just... *shuddershiver*... something about this person puts me off a little. Just... does.

(And no it's no one here. I wouldn't be writing up this long rantyramble here if it were)


Date: 2009-07-01 11:56 pm (UTC)
halialkers: (Default)
From: [personal profile] halialkers
It happens.

The body has acqaintances and patterns of behavior I staunchly disapprove of. I cannot change it because I'm only a priest, in our understanding it's the deity that works miracles, not His servants.

And sometimes severing these acquaintanceships is necessary. I really wish my granddaughter didn't hang around that old veteran like she does, but that cannot be helped. Ashari is the right (or wrong, perhaps) mixture of bullishness and stubbornness not to see anything wrong with that.

Ah, well...as the proverb goes if it's ideals you want Shuhar IV is not the place to find them. >.<

If you feel it should be severed, by all means discuss it with her.

H'vorxixnon H'ven Soroundon.

Date: 2009-07-02 12:19 am (UTC)
halialkers: (Default)
From: [personal profile] halialkers
Multiple? Is this my daughter you're referring to? She's a multiple system of three people, so....that would be...awkward.

I could write pages about the gap between reality and ideals, not least because in theory we are all supposed to have our rights respected. And the idea of making someone semi-sapient to get away with all kinds of abuse is awful, and that's what happened to Revcel, especially since I'm getting an inkling of why civilization scared and still scares her.

I don't know either. There are some in the Crew I do not like, like Jugashvili the unrepentant dictator and Non-Acceptance the fanatical maniacal would-be Cromwell.

H'vorxixnon H'ven Soroundon.

Date: 2009-07-02 12:37 am (UTC)
halialkers: (Default)
From: [personal profile] halialkers
Ah. That sucks.

The Alliance is not a government we are fond of, we tend to look with disfavor on that kind of thing, and can do so from a better perspective now that we've manumitted the slaves and gotten around to legally ending the Tagashim Laws.

Ah. Then that's a sign to watch out for things. Male-bodied systems can be interesting, I've met another once (we are also a male-bodied system, with the interesting aspect that our "anima" is female, and has become my daughter, no less. O.o) in our Archives of our younger years. All the same I never really trusted the fellow....

H'vorxixnon H'ven Soroundon.

Date: 2009-07-02 12:46 am (UTC)
halialkers: (Default)
From: [personal profile] halialkers
It's all right.

One of only two, eh?

It's funny that the body's previous locus of consciousness was also female, the only female of the First Four. When she left, my daughter found herself very unwillingly the new locus of consciousness.

Can't blame Jade for leaving, though. She endured a lot of abuse and maltreatment from the others of the First Four. Her bit when she started menstruating was really bad.

It happens. I still sometimes hate it when one of my upper eyes itches and I can't scratch it here because this is a two-eyed and not six-eyed body.

H'vorxixnon H'ven Soroundon.

Date: 2009-07-02 01:00 am (UTC)
halialkers: (Default)
From: [personal profile] halialkers
Or alternately that they're less willing to talk about it. Took us nearly three years before we opened up about our multiplicity outside the narrow confines of Multiplicity Comm.

Yes, I did sympathize with her. Jade was the only girl for a long time in a system that was a glorified locker room of human males. It wasn't until Wilhelmina Murray came that another human female came, and Murray got the shitty end of the stick, too. Then my daughter showed up and promptly beat the person that tried something with her up so awfully that he was in the hospital for over a year without even trying hard. One-armed beatdown.

Annoying all right. Gets into a little nightmare fuel sometimes.

H'vorxixnon H'ven Soroundon.

Date: 2009-07-02 01:20 am (UTC)
halialkers: (Default)
From: [personal profile] halialkers
The human glamour she wore as Rachel Roth looked a bit like Susan Roth, and that made it a surprise when they came up to gloved, finely-dressed Rachel Roth to attempt their definition of fun. Swinging of fists followed with only one arm moving and the guy lay down, bleeding from his nose and his mouth, and Revcel had him utterly humiliated and made life actually bearable for our female Others.

And yes, my younger daughter is stronger than Revcel, the strongest out of all my children. And alone among all metanormals that we know of, she conceals immense power without need of a containment room. She's the wild card people neglect to consider in our power dynamics, as if Revcekar doesn't like you, you're utterly fucked. If Revcel doesn't like you, you're just plain fucked.

H'vorxixnon H'ven Soroundon.

Date: 2009-07-02 01:45 am (UTC)
halialkers: (Default)
From: [personal profile] halialkers
My granddaughter? She's fine. So's her mother. And the professor is Revcekar, she's a doctorate in theology.

I held little Revcel this morning and listened to Revcekar give a long, profane rant on how we tolerated evil in the case of her older sister and how this can't be allowed to stand. Like everyone else in about 15 minutes, she'll find out that it was typical Autian incompetence and a con man that stepped right into the trap awaiting him.

H'vorxixnon H'ven Soroundon.

Date: 2009-07-02 02:02 am (UTC)
halialkers: (Default)
From: [personal profile] halialkers
Yes.....she's as bright as her sister is. In some ways, Revcel envys her, as Revcekar lives a nice, quiet, respectable life. Revcel never had a choice to be an adventurer.

H'vorxixnon H'ven Soroundon.


River of Stars

July 2009


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