firstentry observations

[rhya_of_stars]

I'm finding I'm the first to not care about certain things. IE there's someone who Sarah is friens with that I really don'twant to talk to, and who seems a little off to me somehow. I'm a bit more sensitive to energy stuff than nearly any other fronter it looks like, and this person's is just... off somehow. Odd in a way I'm not sure I like too much.

Besides, I don't want to have to explain things to them. It's bad enough I'm going through emotions that I never thought I would need to. It's bad enough that I still feel like a burden to those around me, even though they say I'm not. Isn't it enough that I'm here? I don't want to have to explain that I'm someone familiar, yet someone so different too that it makes the similarities seem small in comparison.

I don't want to have to take chances of things from my past coming up and have to sit and pour out my life to a person who, while they say they want to read things, have a problem or two with the concept of soulbonding. Because you see, that's what our system is mainly comprised of: Soulbonds.

Maybe we were here all along, maybe we weren't, I'm not sure that's the point here. I'm pretty sure there were people here before she knew what the hell she was doing... Pretty sure, but not absolutely certain. Just... You know, being a newcomer, and inquisitive and stuff. There's just so much here.

Is it wrong of me to want to show her what this energy feels like and to tell her to start to break away from this person? I meahn, I know they're her friend, but I can feel them trying to drain us, and I... dear goddess... don't like. They give me stomach jitters. And they feel different from the ones we get from switching. I can't describe the difference, but it's there.

I feel like a horrible person for even thinking like this. But... I just... *shuddershiver*... something about this person puts me off a little. Just... does.

(And no it's no one here. I wouldn't be writing up this long rantyramble here if it were)

-Ria

Comments

[rhya_of_stars]

No, it isn't. The physical body of the system is male. And they're from down here.

I know you could. I could too, from my own world's point of view. Or more acurately from my point of view out of my world. You know about some of that, though... so.

I don't like the way this person feels, but I suppose until we have a good reason to make it stop, she['ll be friendswith him. But it says something about the friendship when she trusts people with certain things that she doesn't with this person. She trusts three systems (Yours included( maybe even more, with information she would never trust with him. (Him being the person mentioned in entry.

-Ria

[halialkers]

Ah. That sucks.

The Alliance is not a government we are fond of, we tend to look with disfavor on that kind of thing, and can do so from a better perspective now that we've manumitted the slaves and gotten around to legally ending the Tagashim Laws.

Ah. Then that's a sign to watch out for things. Male-bodied systems can be interesting, I've met another once (we are also a male-bodied system, with the interesting aspect that our "anima" is female, and has become my daughter, no less. O.o) in our Archives of our younger years. All the same I never really trusted the fellow....

H'vorxixnon H'ven Soroundon.

[rhya_of_stars]

I'm sorry... the main fronter is male. The body's female. :(

I do not like misinforming. I was thinking more of the fronter than the actual body. I tend to do that. I think of them so much as a person that I forget what sort of body they use to experience the world around them.

I still agree that male bodied systems can be interesting. You're one of only two we know of.

blarg. I still can't believe I didn't catch that before I sent it. So... yeah. I'm still getting used to fronting I guess.

-Ria

[halialkers]

It's all right.

One of only two, eh?

It's funny that the body's previous locus of consciousness was also female, the only female of the First Four. When she left, my daughter found herself very unwillingly the new locus of consciousness.

Can't blame Jade for leaving, though. She endured a lot of abuse and maltreatment from the others of the First Four. Her bit when she started menstruating was really bad.

It happens. I still sometimes hate it when one of my upper eyes itches and I can't scratch it here because this is a two-eyed and not six-eyed body.

H'vorxixnon H'ven Soroundon.

[rhya_of_stars]

Yeah, one of two. I guess the thing about male bodied systems being rare is kinda true like.

Eeeks... Wow. I... would probably have left, too. Or sympathised with her, in any case.

*laughs*... I'll bet that gets a little annoying sometimes.

-Ria

[halialkers]

Or alternately that they're less willing to talk about it. Took us nearly three years before we opened up about our multiplicity outside the narrow confines of Multiplicity Comm.

Yes, I did sympathize with her. Jade was the only girl for a long time in a system that was a glorified locker room of human males. It wasn't until Wilhelmina Murray came that another human female came, and Murray got the shitty end of the stick, too. Then my daughter showed up and promptly beat the person that tried something with her up so awfully that he was in the hospital for over a year without even trying hard. One-armed beatdown.

Annoying all right. Gets into a little nightmare fuel sometimes.

H'vorxixnon H'ven Soroundon.

[rhya_of_stars]

Ah... true. That could be, too.

Yeah, your daughter has the power, all right. I can almost see it. She radiates it. So dos the professor. Except for Revcekar. She... she has it wrapped. You hnave to *know* what you're looking for...

Awh. *handsqueeze*

-Ria

[halialkers]

The human glamour she wore as Rachel Roth looked a bit like Susan Roth, and that made it a surprise when they came up to gloved, finely-dressed Rachel Roth to attempt their definition of fun. Swinging of fists followed with only one arm moving and the guy lay down, bleeding from his nose and his mouth, and Revcel had him utterly humiliated and made life actually bearable for our female Others.

And yes, my younger daughter is stronger than Revcel, the strongest out of all my children. And alone among all metanormals that we know of, she conceals immense power without need of a containment room. She's the wild card people neglect to consider in our power dynamics, as if Revcekar doesn't like you, you're utterly fucked. If Revcel doesn't like you, you're just plain fucked.

H'vorxixnon H'ven Soroundon.

[rhya_of_stars]

*nod* I'm glad she likes me... I... just.. if she didn't I don't know...

How is the professor, Btw? And that baby of hers? I haven't read the update thing yet.

-Ria

[halialkers]

My granddaughter? She's fine. So's her mother. And the professor is Revcekar, she's a doctorate in theology.

I held little Revcel this morning and listened to Revcekar give a long, profane rant on how we tolerated evil in the case of her older sister and how this can't be allowed to stand. Like everyone else in about 15 minutes, she'll find out that it was typical Autian incompetence and a con man that stepped right into the trap awaiting him.

H'vorxixnon H'ven Soroundon.

[rhya_of_stars]

Babies make me smile.

Ah... I thought so. I thought I saw her standing outside When Yohanin my brother and me were all talking and stuff.

Ayupe, she will.

-Ria

[halialkers]

Yes.....she's as bright as her sister is. In some ways, Revcel envys her, as Revcekar lives a nice, quiet, respectable life. Revcel never had a choice to be an adventurer.

H'vorxixnon H'ven Soroundon.